Dancing Around The Fire
"Who brought the little kid?"
I remember someone saying that in reference to my friend Keaton when we brought him to a keg party out in the woods about fifteen years ago (give or take). He was about thirteen or fourteen years old and, even for that age, he had a small stature and innocent childlike appearance. Bringing him to the party proved to be more of a questionable act at the time rather than a good decision. Then again, at the time, I doubt anyone in our group of friends made good decisions but hey, we were all stupid teenagers. The party took place in a dried up creek bed so the ground beneath us was covered in cobblestones. This, of course, made for a most interesting night, especially with alcohol involved.
People fell, ankles were twisted, stones were cast, and some less than intelligent individuals were throwing stones into the various fires being tended which created ticking times bombs. Once in a while, a stone would "pop" from the heat and pressure causing red hot stone fragments to disperse into the crowds. The night became a series of meandering events strung together by loose conversation, fits of laughter, and debauchery.
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Keaton became one of the many spectacles of the evening. At one point, I saw him performing the Bushwackers dance around a fire. He had apparently felt it was necessary to remove his shirt for this ritual and he automatically became a crowd favorite. When he wasn't dancing around the fire, he was performing drunken gymnastics, a lot of which included running back flips over the fire.
"This little dude's nuts!" I recall someone saying.
That was one of my first times ever hanging out with Keaton and that was before he ever picked up a skateboard. When he did decide to start skating, he approached it much like he approached that night - carefree, full of energy, and with a huge smile on his face.
Anyone's introduction to becoming a skater usually falls far from grace. None of us were swans. Coordination, style, attitude, and overall know-how of the "sport", takes practice and dedication. Keaton was gifted with the natural ability to skate, but in his early days, no one had told him what shoes were optimal for skating, let alone how to look the part in general. Of course, that never stopped him. I still recall being in awe when I saw him landing huge tricks while wearing boots or basketball shoes. His clothes were often a little too big for him as well. It had reminded me of when I first started skating: huge wide leg jeans, stretched out shirts, and a bowl style haircut. Because of this, I was always empathetic towards his oblivious approach. Despite whatever skate culture faux pas he may have stumbled into, he skated faster and harder than most of the dudes I skated with at the time. I think that's why I always liked skating with him so much. He wasn't concerned with much, other than landing his tricks and he was always eager just to get out there and skate with whoever was down.
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Rarely, did I ever, if ever, see Keaton judging someone. He would talk to anyone and hangout with whoever just because. He was just that carefree about life.
As we grew older, the ever impending doom of adulthood reared it's ugly head. Our once tight knit skate crew dwindled one skater at a time as each one discovered other means to express themselves whether it was career oriented, music, drugs, some other art form, entering a full time romance, or just losing interest. That's just how life goes, I guess. Keaton and I hung in there though. As we both came to grips with growing up, we kept skating. He eventually became the only dude I skated with outside of the people already skating at a spot or the local skatepark. When you skate with someone for so many years, you can't help but be influenced by them and be bonded with them like a brother. Keaton always inspired me and kept me on that board even when I felt like the whole day was going to be shit. We backed each other up when it came to skating, filming, and just giving anything one more try. Whenever we were filming, and I was feeling defeated from attempting a trick so many times and not landing it, he would always say "You got this, Span." It was that little push that always helped me.
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Throughout the years, both Keaton and I had struggled with many life challenges and our own inner demons. Each of us handled it in different ways. Some ways were more self destructive than others but skateboarding remained a constant between him and I. No matter how dark or hopeless things became, we always managed to meet up and get a skate session in. Alas, even those skate sessions began to fade away. Life was changing for the both of us and pulling us in two different directions.
I found out about his passing on December 31, 2014. On that day, before I had heard, I was feeling accomplished and looking forward to having a quiet evening with my wife. When the news had reached me, a great heaviness encroached upon my existence. Such news never bodes well with me but this time was much deeper than any pain I had felt in a long time. My reaction was delayed as I tried to go about my business for the day. It didn't fully hit me until my wife and I were on route to the store to pick up food and beverages for the evening. I broke down in tears while starring out the passenger side window - full realization with little understanding.
What can you do? Keep living, right? I think that's the gist of it....
Knowing that I'll never get to show him the skateparks of Hawaii or have another session with him makes that part difficult at times.
Days later and I'm still blown away. Skating and living life is never going to be the same for me again. I know Keaton would still want me to skate. I think he would want that for anyone he's ever skated with. If you still have a skateboard lying around, grab it, and take a ride, even if it's just for a little while. Skateboarding was Keaton's love and his passion. He loved the freedom it provided him and I think any skater, whether still actively skating or not, can get behind that.
I can't convey the feelings of anyone else, only my own, but I do know Keaton had a profound effect on so many peoples lives. I'd like to think everyone saw that childlike innocence in him that made him so special. It's that innocence that can put fears to rest, bring about joy, and help one forget about all the shit that the world dishes out on us in our day to day lives. It's that innocence that should allow us all, who knew him, to smile at one another without judgment as he would have. Anyone who knew him will remember him in their own special way. Me, I'll always remember him as that innocent kid dancing around the fire without a care in the world.
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Posted on January 6th, 2015